Coffee shops and cafes are a popular choice of date venue among many, providing a calm environment for two singletons to get to know each other.
But in a low-key environment, some may find it difficult to interpret just how their date really feels about them.
Luckily, there are several subtle signs to be looking out for when meeting these potential love interests when “dry dating”.
With Valentine’s Day around the corner, body language and behavioural expert Darren Stanton has spoken to us to reveal seven non-verbal cues you should be looking out for a while getting to know someone over a cup of coffee.
Sustained eye contact
Darren: “Eye contact is a part of normal conversation, so it’s not necessarily a sign that someone is flirting with you. But pay attention to the length and intensity of it. If someone is into you, they’ll likely hold your gaze for longer and make it more meaningful, whereas friendly eye contact usually is made up of intermittent glances.
“Prolonged eye contact beyond 5 seconds is generally reserved for family or romantic partners.”
Physical touch
Darren: “Take notice of any physical contact between you and your date. Do they touch your arm while they’re speaking to you or lightly brush your fingers while reaching for their coffee cup? Or maybe they keep bumping into you or pick (imaginary) lint off your clothing or straighten your collar – all of those actions help fulfil their need to be closer to you.
“A sure sign that someone’s not into you? They’ll likely pull away if you touch them.”
Leaning in
Darren: “This is a more obvious one. The closer someone leans into you, the more likely it is that they’re flirting with you.”
Mirroring body language
Darren: “Often, someone will signal their attraction to you by subconsciously mirroring your body language. This could be the way you are seated, how your legs are positioned (crossed at the legs or ankles), gestures, or even facial expressions.
“Conversely, if their body language seems to be closed-off, take it as a sign that they’re probably not flirting with you.”
Breaking down barriers
Darren said: “While having a coffee with someone, you should watch where they place their cup. If it’s in between the two of you, it could mean that they aren’t interested in anything more than friendship.
“But if they happen to move it to the side – thus eliminating any barriers between the two of you – it can often be a sign that they feel a certain spark with you and want to get closer.”
Touching their hair
Darren: “This is a gesture that those with long hair might make when they like somebody or want them to know they like them, they will twizzle the bottoms of their hair or run their fingers through the bottom of the hair. This is basically a gesture to say ‘I like you’.
“Those with short hair who wish to let the other person know that they are interested, will run their fingers through their hair, sweeping it back.
“Any hand to head gesture playing with the hair or readjusting the hair is a definite signal the person is into you.”
Space invaders
Darren: “Another interesting gesture that your coffee date may use to let you know they’re interested is they will invade your personal space by doing something like putting their head on your shoulder.
“It is an attempt to get past your proximal zones, areas that we reserve around our body for these certain kind of relationships.”
